We're thrilled to present a guest blog by the esteemed Maria from Psychoenergetic Work®, a pioneer in the field of relational and personal growth. In this insightful piece, Maria delves deep into the essence of what constitutes a healthy, happy, and healing relationship. She challenges us to reflect on our personal desires and needs within our connections, prompting a journey of self-discovery and relational fulfilment. This thought-provoking read promises to enlighten and inspire.
The Dual Nature of Relationships
Relationships can be a real testing ground for some of us and, for others, a safe or passionate space to be and grow, a field of possibilities or a lonely cage that keeps us prisoners. I don't like to generalise, but we can all agree that (some) relationships can take a look at resources and energy, and, at times, finding and maintaining a healthy balance within them can be challenging. Contrast is an inevitable element within all relationships and experiences; just think about how many times you felt opposite feelings within yourself, a part of you that wanted to break free and let go and a part of you holding you back and shutting you down.
The Journey to Finding "The One"
Finding the right soul to be with is not always a straightforward road, as it requires trust and the ability to remain yourself while adding the "we" element to the equation.
Breaking the Cycle of Repetitive Dating Patterns
Sometimes, you may feel stuck in the Same Dating Pattern, struggle to recognise the signs, be unable to listen to your gut and repeatedly date the same type of person, falling into the same dynamic each time. When it is finally over, you realise what happened, almost waking up from a dream, wondering how that happened again, feeling so disappointed, blaming yourself for not recognising the disguised familiar pattern.
Self-Reflection and Non-Negotiable Needs
The first thing I usually ask is: Have you spent time reflecting on the essential elements you need within a relationship and why these elements are so vital for you? Do you know your non-negotiable and personal needs that you are not willing to compromise for the other? You will be surprised, but most people never thought about it or felt they had the right to express such needs to others.
Communication and Healthy Boundaries
Feeling free to communicate essential needs to our partners is important! It helps define personal space and boundaries, maintains self-identity, avoids co-dependency mechanisms, and clarifies what we seek in a partner.
Teamwork and Compassion in Relationships
I often say the most important element for a successful relationship is the willingness to work as a team, stop the ping-pong blaming game, and use a compassionate approach towards the other, not to justify their hurtful behaviours but to support them in recognising such defensive and toxic responses.
The Path to Growth and Expansion
Couples working together to empower themselves as individuals and within the relationship have an opportunity for immense growth and expansion. So, I suggest taking the pressure off and stopping looking for the perfect partner; it does not exist, and we are not perfect either.
Conclusion and Encouragement
But make sure there is a genuine intention to work with you when times are challenging, someone who will share the uncomfortable space with you without running away or blaming you. Somebody who is willing to renegotiate and find ways to overcome obstacles together. And if you need help, don't hold back; if what you have is worth it, invest in it! And if you are single and want to start a new chapter of your life, now is the time!
With Love, Maria.
Maria is offering free initial consultations, if you'd like support navigating the anything raised in this blog you can book in with her here. Maria will also be hosting a free workshop, Exploring Relational Needs. To find out more click here.
Single and looking to mingle? Head over to our sister brand, The Single Session's to meet like minded over 35's.
And as always Brighton we're here to keep it friendly, so when you're looking for connections that are underpinned with love for the city and shared experiences, not romance, then join us at one of our Connected Brighton events - we can't wait to meet you!